I Am Not Okay

I am not okay

It gets worse at night when nothing feels right

And I’m laying wide awake

Far from fine hunting demons that are mine

Waging wars in my head like nothing matters.

I am inconsequential.

I take priority to no one except myself

Even then I’m not first and I couldn’t tell you what’s worse.

When you can’t even choose yourself.

And I am not okay.

In a house where depression lives

Walls high as I sigh

Staring at the ceiling hoping that I’m dreaming

Don’t worry this will shift and i will find another gift

A grateful pause in a silence so thick

But I am not okay.